Join a choir
Nataniël once asked: “Kry ander mense ook so soveel pos? Hoekom sê niemand iets nie? Niemand praat ooit oor hulle pos nie.”
Dollas have been receiving a large amount of gemors pos emails, commonly known as spam. Initially we were flattered that people who’s first language wasn’t English felt compelled to communicate with us. (Nie Afrikaanse mense nie) Russians by the grammar layout, or Greek by the spelling mistakes. Hearts racing we would open the email notification and…spam.
Why is it that nobody talks about this? Blogger silence. Instagram quiet. But no more. We will break the silence, dare to ask the hard questions. Do all small vegan enterprises with a website, instagram account and semi-operational Blog receive copious amounts of gemors pos?
We have tried various things to make it stop. “Ons probeer sluip.” Removing our contact details from the website. Deactivating the ability to comment on our website. Only to receive an ice bucket challenge of emails from the strangest accounts you can imagine. Our hearts now race with fear when the notifications appear.
We don’t have any idea how they found us. We are a home-run business, some days work is hectic others all but non-existent, we call those our quiet weeks. So maybe Nataniël’s advice or rather his neighbor’s advice should be considered.
Nataniël knew a tannie in ‘n knopies trui who said: “Jy sing tot geen mens weet waar jy is nie” Jip, her advice was to verdwyn by joining a choir. “’n Koor word uitgelos. Die bose magte sê nooit ek wil die aarde regeer kry vir my ‘n koor nie. Speedkops los jou uit. Die regering sê nooit as ons klaar is met daai terroriste vat ons die kore vas nie.”
If we join a choir, silent weeks will be a thing of the past but more importantly the spam would stop. No self respecting Russian hacker would pursue us any longer. Am I the only one who has never heard of a Greek hacker?
So the decision has been made, Dollas will be joining a choir. Does anybody know of one nearby? Because the more I think about this, the more benefits can be found. No headaches about speedcops, now that is beneficial.
I just feel pity for the choir, some of us can’t catch a note with a bucket. But then again the covid-mask-thing will distort the volume and perhaps our lack of talent. The stage will have to be enormous if we have to maintain social distancing. Wait a minute…does anybody know where the choirs are given the current global situation? Oh dear, they have truly disappeared!
Dollas To-do list for the day:
□ Track down a choir
□ Buy a Toga
□ Re-watch Nataniël Gemors pos on Youtube (love that guy)